“Raising” my Voice

Day 1, Take 3

Dear New Voice,

It’s so nice to meet you! You’re not nearly as lovely and powerful as the pre-school teacher’s voice but you certainly are much better than my normal scream. You actually sound calm and understandable and almost persuasive. Please, will you stay a long while?

Keep  in touch,

The Orange Rhino

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YES! I did it!!!

I made it through this day without yelling. That puts me at 1 day down, 364 to go. Well, I’ve already been there done that and made it to 8 days but this time will be different. It HAS to be! The first 8 days were a great learning experience. A real eye opener. I would say 95% of the time that I’m yelling at the boys it is because of me being tired, me bring over bearing, me being uptight, me being a nudge. So  most of the time, not only is the yelling not warranted, it’s not needed. It is definitely time for a change!

I keep telling people from different parts of my life about my Challenge in hopes that when I bump into them they will ask me about the challenge and will keep me on task! I need as many little voices in my head reminding me to not yell as possible.

So that when #2 grabs #3’s hair and starts to pull him across the room at bath time, like tonight, I don’t scream. Or when #1 kicks me in the back accidently (or not) to take my attention away from the baby, I don’t scream. Or when #3 starts whining at 6am and doesn’t stop all day….

Oh, and did I mention that I am exhausted today, more than ever because #1 came into my bed at 1100 shaking from a nightmare; #3 woke at 430 screaming because of a cold, and #4 woke at 530 screaming because of his cold, waking  all of us up. Today, was needless to say, NOT a good day. I was down all day and couldn’t snap out of it. I promised myself I would get to sleep by 10:00. It’s 9:55 and I still have to go pump, ie. moo like a cow.

Even though today utterly sucked, I survived. I did it. I kept it together and didn’t yell at breakfast when the yogurt smeared all over #3 because he outright refused to wear a bib. I didn’t yell at the kids to hurry up on the way to swim class when they were hemming and hawing. I didn’t yell when I put my 3 yr old to bed early because of aforementioned hair pulling and all he did was start crying hysterically and screaming at me.

Somewhere, tonight, I found a new voice.

Not a loud one that does nothing, but a strong firm voice. “#3, it is bed time. You pulled your brother’s hair which is not acceptable. You are exhausted and need to go to sleep. I love you very much. Good night.” And the weirdest thing happened….

I walked away with a new sense of accomplishment and power. And he stopped wailing…without me having to yell at him.

Seems like I am “raising” my voice, but in an acceptable way. I am teaching it how to grow up and be nicer. Kind of like raising kids. Just what I need. Ha.